For blessed connections

We seldom take time in our hurried days to reflect on the connections of people in our lives and how they take us to places in our life that we are blessed with.  Last night we were at a wedding of a beloved daughter that nudged me to think and reflect how I got to be a part of the lives of so many amazing young women who have called me their "college mom" and been my family of the heart.  As we said goodbye for the evening, one of my daughters hugged me...one of those hugs that fill your soul.  And she would not let go as she whispered in my ear "thank you for always being here for me."    How could I not be :)  I love you so much!

How did I get to this state of having so many beautiful young women bless my life?  I thought about that this morning...

As a freshman in college, I struggled profoundly, silently on so many levels for so many reasons.  I was blessed enough to meet some young women in my dorm that I immediately felt at ease with, loved by, and a part of.  Nancy and Barb, Pamela and Marcia.  I am still in touch with Nancy and Pamela, have been with Barb (I think I still have her address...) but lost track of Marcia after college.   They were members of an organization of other young women they brought me into and I became a member of at the beginning of my sophomore year.  Nancy and Barb became my "pledge moms" and Pamela and Marcia "adopted moms."

Little did I know the path it would take me down in the years to come...

Being a part of this group, like any large group of people, had its blessings and challenges.  I had moments of such joy and at the same time struggled to find my lane, my place.  It didn't help that I had to deal with daily emotional terrorism distributed by my mother via telephone. This was long before caller ID and answering machines so to avoid it was hard.  I told no one, discussed with no one, the emotional and verbal abuse and pain that was the fabric of my life and shaped so many of my days.  I struggled as a young woman as the subject of this and at the same time being a member of a large group of other young women...  I wish now that they could know the grown woman writing this instead of the young woman that was in pieces then.

As college progressed, I felt less interested in the group and less a part of it, especially after my 4 "moms" graduated and left campus.  It was a wonderful group, I just didn't feel connected.  When I graduated a semester earlier than the rest of my class and left campus, the group, the connections,  were, for the most part, left behind with the other memories.

I got a job, life moved on and I didn't look back.  From time to time I would run across pictures, t-shirts, memorabilia from the group and those days.  I did stay in touch with a few here and there.  I still struggled, abuse from home only got worse and more brutal as I got older.  Being a young woman in pieces sometimes went to being a woman shattered.  To struggle with that kind of abusive treatment is hard to explain to someone who has never dealt with it.  Bruises are easy to see, shattered souls are not.  And life kept rolling along...

I got married late in my 30s to a guy worth the wait and worth dating all of the assholes.  The marriage moved me even further from the area I grew up in and went to college.  Though it was tough at first, it has been a blessing...bringing the daughters <3

The first few months of newlywed life, I found myself writing wedding thank you notes and doing the paperwork to change my address (I kept my name so some of the paperwork was spared.)  On the list to change my address was the college organization I had been a member of so I called the national office and talked to the office manager and explained where I now lived.  She paused for a moment and asked me how far away I was from a particular campus.  I told her I thought about 9 miles.  She said that the chapter at that campus was looking for an advisor and asked if I'd be interested in volunteering.  I told her I'd think about it and fill out the application and send it in.  Thus began the journey of the daughters of the heart...

The hubs and I didn't have children for medical reasons.  I've never felt like one of those women who MUST have birth children or have a baby.  God would give us what He gave us.  We give back a great deal to those who have no voice and support those who need it since we don't have kids.  As I began my journey with the chapter, little did I know how many times I would be a mother in a way I never imagined could happen.

Over the 15 years that I was chapter advisor, literally a few hundred young women passed through our lives.  Many had wonderful mothers of their own, their birth mothers.  The kind I wish I had had.  Leigh who is a gifted writer and teacher, Jane who teaches kindergarten, Theresa, Pam, Marcia, I have met so many of them and am in awe of how amazing they are and the job they have done with such beautiful daughters and how blessed I feel that they share them with me.  They are the maternal examples we all wish we had.  I wish I had room to name them all and recall them all.

I have had serious issues to counsel the daughters through.  Abuse, substance abuse, mental health issues...anorexia, cutting.  I sometimes wonder how I have summoned the substance to help them get back on a path that is more stable, sometimes have had to let them fall and skin their knees because that is what life is about... lessons.  That part is so hard and hurts.  But most of the time they come out stronger and better on the other side. There are more times than I can count that boys broke their hearts and I have done my best to remind them how amazing they are and that they will remain just as amazing after Mr. What's-his-name.

How did I get so blessed...

We have been participants in their weddings, had them bring their babies for us to hold.  I am incredibly humbled each and every time they open their lives up to include us.

How did we get so blessed...

I had a daughter wear my wedding veil last summer when she walked down the aisle.  I simply had no words when I tucked it into her hair as she got ready.  I had the tears of love though.  My heart overflowed.

How...how... am I so very blessed...

So as I had a daughter hold me tight last night I absorbed her wonderful love and was reminded that this all started on a path with 4 young women encouraging me to join a college organization.  As an alum, rejoining the group on a different course.  That broken and sometimes shattered woman of years ago moved forward to hopefully help other young women mend, grow and maybe bypass what can be such a painful struggle.  To know that the person they are in college that suffered like I did does not have to be that woman down the line.  I am not that person from college and as I said, I wish those members of the college group knew me now as I am, not then.  I am an advocate and force for the broken and those who feel they have no voice...because I did not.  No one was there to hold my shattered heart in their hands and tell me everything would be better, I would be better.  I have been committed to doing that for them.

I love them all more than I can possibly express in a composition, more than I can speak.

So all of my Sigma daughters, and to my original 4, I love you so very much.  I am so very grateful to be blessed with your love.  I hope I am until I draw my last breath.  I could not ask for more, I am...

...so very blessed.

Grateful for the magical vacation to a magical land

As fall moved in late last year and the leaves rained down from the beautiful maple tree in front, and my flowers saw their last stages of purples and pinks, I wondered where the summer went.  It was here and gone like a feather on the wind.  But the start of last summer was nothing short of ... MAGICAL.

And it all began with a question...

When we were on a plane bound for our spring break beach location in March the hubs asked that question that started it all...

As I did a bit of bopping in my seat on the flight, he asked me if I had an earworm.  Now many people don't know that term but it is a song that you can't shake from your head, know that feeling?  I responded that I did.  We had just 3 weeks before been to see Bruce Springsteen and when the hubs inquired about the earworm..."Thunder Road?"  My response, "no, Out On The Street
!"  His response was a bit of a game..."well, the answer is yes, what is my question?"  "Easy" I replied, "should we go see him again!  Where do you want to go?"  The hubs responded to me that it was my choice, pick a spot, he was in.

So out came my first-generation iPad that doesn't even get wifi in my own home but at 36,000 feet got me a signal perfectly.  As I searched the site for tickets, I looked over from my window seat and told him I had two seats 11 rows off stage left and 9 minutes in the queue to buy them...should I go for it?  His response was immediate, "HELL YES, BUY THEM!"  I asked if he wanted to know where and he repeated his instructions that it was my choice for location.

I hit the button to purchase and we were set.  Little did he know...

He asked, "So where are we off to?"

DUBLIN, IRELAND BABY!!!  MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!!

You told me it was my choice...

I thought we'd need CPR at 36,000 feet :)

And so it began, the magic of a trip that began with a song...

We landed in Dublin at 6 AM to a cloudless sky and with my navigator and his iPad set up with GPS and me behind the wheel of a car that has the wheel on the right and a stick shift in my left hand, driving on the left side of the road we proceeded west.  A couple of hours later we both decided that jet lag was closing in and that lunch and a walk in the fresh air were the perfect cure as we approached Galway.

Galway is beautiful and packed with Americans who are walking in and out of pubs and shops.  We spent a lovely few hours there and were back on the road to Cong for our first night.

Cong is the beautiful village where the movie The Quiet Man with John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara was filmed.  To say that it is beautiful would never do it justice.  We spent the day at the Quiet Man museum, walking to the places in the movie, having an AMAZING dinner and some great craic at the bar that was a focal spot in the film,  and then off down the road to our B&B with Kathleen our innkeeper and her cows and sheep calling to us as we sat with a bottle of wine on a picnic table and watched sunset on our first night.

It was pure magic...wait.  Didn't The Boss have an album titled MAGIC?  Oh hell yeah...

We woke the next morning to a HUUUUUUGE Irish breakfast in front of us at Innishfree B&B (I'm going to shamelessly plug them all because they were so amazing.)  We were off then to see the ruins of the cottage that was the home in The Quiet Man.  Navigating single lane roads from there to the Cliffs of Moher involved many stops to let the sheep cross the road and to take pictures of the Burrn and craggy coast so beautiful in its ruggedness.  Stop for the night was with our innkeeper Angela at Seacrest Farm, a true working farm, in Quilty, County Clare.  To say that there was hospitality here is an understatement.

Quilty is not much more than a small gathering of buildings on single lane roads and nowhere to eat.  Angela told us to knock on her door when we unpacked and she'd drive us into Spanish Point to a hotel with a great restaurant and we could cab it home.  This was so the driver (ME) could have a few pints and not worry about coming home in the dark :)  We ate yet again the most amazing meal, listened to great music, had a blast with the cabbie home and arose the next morning to eggs fresh from the hen staring in the window at me.

Off we started back to Enniskerry where we would be staying that night at the Powerscourt hotel.  Since this would be concert night and there was also a soccer game and another event in Dublin, that was the closest we could get and had to pay another $90 to stay there beyond our B&B package.  Was it worth it!  The room was ENORMOUS.  Unpack and into Dublin we went to see BRUCE!

The concert...his typical 3 hours and 45 minutes and he opened with "HELLOOOOOO DUBLIN!  MY GOD THERE'S A LOT OF YOU!"  yep 81,000 of us!

To say that this evening was MAGICAL is an understatement.  From the people we met and are still friends with (Hi Jon and Bente!) to the strangers we partied with across the street from Croke Park in a pub, to the set list and the weather, it could be our "one and done" moment with the Boss.  It was that good, it was perfection.  It was MAGIC.  We returned to Powerscourt in time to have one last to toast an amazing night (around 2 AM), and the next morning awoke to the beautiful sunshine that left us feeling like the day after your wedding...such an amazing build up of excitement and great time and suddenly it is all over.

As we packed the car and headed toward Clonmel for our next night (at Lissarda B&B with Eileen and Michael Moran!), we recalled what fun we had had and wondered aloud if anything could ever match that night.  Next stop, Kilkenny for some lunch...

Kilkenny on the river with the sun so bright was wonderful as we sat with a sandwich and a glass of tea watching people.  Just as we were finishing up, an older gentleman asked if we were leaving and could he and his wife and daughter have our table (it was every man for themselves type of seating.)  As we waited to pay the check, he asked if we were on holiday, if our people were Irish, and what our surname was.  We both answered we had Irish heritage and when the hubs told him our surname, he responded quite seriously "Ah yes, I know your people, gamblers and sheep stealers."

UM, WHAT?

The hubs must have known the family history because he responded just as seriously "yes, and don't forget loansharks!"

We had quite a giggle and shook hands and went off to walk the town.  Kilkenny, you stole our hearts with your beautiful shops and lovely people and we cannot wait to come back!

A day at the Rock of Cashel was stunning and rich with history.  We stopped at the tip of a server we met in Cong who had grown up there.  We wandered the ruins of the church and crossed a stone wall and navigated a pasture of cow pies to wander the ruins of the abbey as well.  As we walked the abbey in the sunshine, a white balloon quietly floated to us and landed between our feet.  As we looked at each other, another American couple spoke our thoughts..."wow, that's kind of wild...a message?"  Way cool day.

A night in a castle, what would you imagine when I say that?  It was every single thing you imagine in your dreams and then some.  Dromoland Castle...spectacular does not cover it.  When we unlocked the door to our room and opened it both of us were the aghast...our room was bigger than either of our first apartments with a HUGE king sized bed!  We dropped bags and quickly gathered free fishing equipment from the sporting shop and rowed our boat out into the lake to fish for a couple of hours.

The next morning I was treated to a trap shoot with the castle's pro as jet trails showed overhead at the start of my shoot.  Now, anyone who knows my spiritual "visitors" knows that jet trails appear when my Dad is near.  Dad taught me to shoot trap...and one appeared as I started and one appeared as I finished.  Magical <3  And I hit darned near every bird!  David the pro told the hubs he wouldn't mess with me!

We visited the walled gardens of Dromoland and walked the gardens on the grounds and went off toward Moate Lodge in Athy.  As we drove the countryside we enjoyed the stops for a pot of tea (Barry's Gold...nothing but the best!) and to take pictures of the incredible scenery.  Arriving at Moate Lodge we were greeted by Stevie the Springer Spaniel <3

Moate Lodge is an 18th-century farmhouse that also is a working farm that produces barley and grain for the Jameson's and Guinness production.  Sitting in the middle of beautiful flowing fields, it is peaceful and beautiful and the perfect retreat after a full day.  Raymond our proprietor was happy to talk about US history and offer a tour of the farm.  As we saw the sunset in Athy, Moate was the perfect spot to rest for an early morning to come.

Ah, our last leg and the final day and night in Dublin.  Early breakfast with Raymond and we were off to Dublin to return the car by 9 AM.   Though I was not happy about the early return of the car, it proved to provide the perfect day for us.

We got to our hotel in Dublin and our room was ready by 10:30 that morning.  Dropped the bags and off we went to Nassau street to shop for sweaters!  I remembered a shop I had gotten a sweater from 18 years ago when we visited and it proved to remain a gold mine for beautiful Aran hand knitted sweaters.  The hubs and I got what we wanted and dropped bags at the hotel and by 1 PM we were wandering down the Temple Bar area to enjoy the sunshine.  First stop, Palace Bar for a pint.

Our final day spent in Dublin drinking pints and eating mussels and singing Irish songs at The Quay, Temple Bar, Oliver St. John Gogarty's, and dinner at The Ginger Man was ... wait did I use the term before... MAGICAL.  As we returned to The Palace for our final pint, we looked outside for a spot to sit and we were invited by a gentleman from London on holiday to join him.  Our new friend Jerry :)  Soon a family joined us on holiday from Sweden.  Jan, Ewa and Ebba joined the group and pints and laughter prevailed.  I never did connect with Jerry but our Swedish friends remain in contact via Facebook.  That final round of drinks was our final dose of love and laughter to a week that was something we could never have imagined would be so MAGICAL when I sat in that seat and ordered concert tickets at 36,000 feet 8 weeks earlier.

I am grateful for something that was so incredible, a trip that was a dream.  We saw such beauty, laughed so much, met so many wonderful new friends.  I am so grateful for everything a week in Eire gave us.

And thank you, Bruce, for an AMAZING night filled with laughter and song.  I will never forget it.  Because...

DUBLIN!
DUBLIN!

You've just seen...the heart-stopping, pants-dropping, house-rocking, earth-quaking, booty-shaking, testifying, death-defying, Viagra-taking, love-making –

Le-gen-dary E – Street – Band!

And thank you my new friend Michele for capturing that memory, that night, so I can see it any day I want now.  You are my hero!  There are a couple of spots I can see us holding our sign!!

Here's to a week in Ireland and the land, the people, the friends, the food, the music...we will hold it all in our hearts forever!