They were a funny pair. Both the same height so mom never wore much in the way of high heels. Dad was quiet, the engineer. Mom was the person that talked to strangers in the produce section. He rarely let out what he was thinking. You ALWAYS knew what her opinion was!
She told me it snowed on their wedding day.
They produced me, the oldest, and my brother who is 4 years younger. I did the "math" once and figured out mom got pregnant with both of us on their wedding anniversary. She would never confirm that of course. And of course those were the only two "times" it happened :)
They gave me an amazing, blessed life. And shaped me into who I am.
Mom stayed home with us till I was out of high school and went back to work. Home cooked dinner every night at 5:30. She taught me to sew and she made my clothes. She taught me to speak French from a cool workbook she found at a book sale. She taught me to read from a cool workbook when I was 3. She taught me about art and started my love of Degas and Monet. She taught me about gardening and started my passion for that and all things green. I would get huge packages at college of new outfits she made me. She taught me to dress with class. (I say as I sit and type in sweats and a t-shirt. Sorry mom!)
She was a great cook and baker.
When I cleaned out the home I grew up in after they died, I found a set of braids and two pony tails in an envelope. The braids were about 18" long. They were hers and she had kept them when she cut her hair off at 13. The one pony tail was mine when she cut my hair off at 6 into the infamous pixie cut. The other was when I cut my hair off my freshman year of college.
So I started growing my hair out and in honor of her 80th birthday a couple of years ago, I donated mine and the braids and two pony tails to Locks of Love in her name. She would have liked that...wait, she does like that :)
She had broken hearts when I did and was thrilled when I was. We had a tough relationship at times but she was the mom who helped me be what I hope is viewed as a good woman today.
My daddy...the first love of my life. And my rock. And my guardian.
My first date...he told me that he wanted me to make sure the young man came in so he could meet him. The doorbell rang, I answered and ushered him in. It was to a dance so there was the delivery of flowers as he walked in the door. And then I moved to take him around the corner into the den to meet my daddy.
And there he was, sitting in his big chair. With a shotgun in his arms running a cleaning rod in and out of it. And our enormous dog, who didn't like men, on a leash sitting next to him. "You'll have her home by midnight, WON'T YOU SON?"
I was home by 11 and single until I was 37.
I loved every moment with him.
When I was little he would park me on a stool in his workshop to help him load ammo (he shot trap) and had me tap powder and primers into shells. He taught me how to fire a 9MM before I could drive a car. He taught me how to shoot trap. He taught me how to love geometry and physics (hated algebra word problems though.)
He helped me catch butterflies for my collection. And he taught me how to love beer :) Now there is a great dad for you!
I was home one weekend when I was in my 30s and was standing behind him talking to him and he did not respond. I tapped him on the shoulder and asked if he had his hearing aids in so he could hear me. The response was NO. I asked why not. His response..."Well your mother is home!!!"
He never lost his sense of humor even when Alzheimers started moving in...
My last visit was with him in a nursing home. Though he was cared for, I never want anyone to have to go through living there. Never.
I took Maya to meet him, we had just gotten her a few weeks before. She ran into daddy's room and jumped onto his bed where he was just up from a nap. "SHE'S NEW!" This was nothing short of a miracle because the disease had left his mind pretty sharp but taken his speech almost completely. It broke my heart he could no longer call me SalGal as he had for my entire life. But now when I tugged on her leash to get her to jump down..."DON'T HURT HER!" I left him to cuddle her :)
I got him up to watch TV...football. Mom would not let sports be watched on TV so he and I would sneak in a Blackhawks hockey game on TV in a rare moment but that was about it. So I got him into his chair and turned on the Wisconsin Badgers (we are huge fans) vs. Penn State. I explained that we needed this win to get to a bowl game and Penn State was undefeated. He nodded that he understood. The twinkle in his eye always told me he still recognized me and knew what I was saying.
Maya was laying on the bed, started to "fluff" the covers to make herself a spot to lay. As I turned to watch her, I heard daddy shout "OH SHIT!" I turned to find him pointing at the TV where Penn State had just scored :)
I loved it. The comment and the football together.
I said to him "You can say that but can't say my name?" He shrugged his shoulders and let out a little giggle. But that was the best "OH SHIT" I've ever heard in my life!
He stood with me at a parade in downtown Chicago that was honoring Viet Nam vets one warm May afternoon. I pulled his arm to cross the street between marching bands and he would not move. He was staring up at a man and had tears in his eyes. My dad NEVER cried. What was this about? I took the cue and stayed until the parade passed and he was ready to move. I asked him what upset him...
He said "Did you see that blue ribbon and medal around his neck?" I had not. He said, "That is the Congressional Medal of Honor and what he had to do to earn that is something you and I will never have to suffer." He explained that many earn it posthumously. I was humbled and understood the tears then.
He was fiercely patriotic. And I know he loved the military salute at his grave and hearing a bugler play taps for him.
I could tell stories about them forever. They were amazing parents. I realized the love they had when I found that mom had saved every letter he wrote her from his Army service days and every card he had given her, when I cleaned out the house. She only lasted 6 months after he was gone...
They still are amazing parents, guiding me in a different way and different place now.
I am so grateful for Harley Jr. and Mary Jane Field. I hope they know how much they are loved and missed so much.
Happy 60th anniversary Mom and Daddy, I love you to the moon and back :)
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