That is my husband. This morning as I sat here in my grubby sweats with wet hair and no make up trying to tackle the mound of work that did not get attention while I was at a conference from Tuesday of last week through Sunday/yesterday, he proceeded to tell me that he was so proud of me and loved me and without hesitation told me how beautiful he thought I was.
I thought he was high. Clearly he didn't look at me when he said it.
But he meant every word because he sees beyond wet hair and no makeup. And as we've gotten older, none of that matters to him. What matters is our health and happiness. And each other :)
He tells me that he is proud of me too. It must be for something other than stellar housekeeping... and CLEARLY not for cooking because my two best efforts at that are Cheerios and reservations!
I'm thinking it is because he knows the soul of who I am. He's proud of that soul. What I stand tall for, who I choose to fight for (it is always the underdog) and the integrity I so fiercely put forth and demand in others. The love and respect I focus on giving. What I work so hard to teach in the former students and others I mentor. What I strive to bring out in others...their very best soul.
My travel pal this past week is also one of those people who makes you feel top drawer. She knows what I am about, what I am intellectually composed of and capable of. We are more recent friends than some of my pals and we were until this road trip, work-related in friendship, but she said something that made me feel like a million while we were at the conference... After I mentioned a particularly difficult situation I was juggling, she looked me square in the eye and said "want to know what I think? Lift your skirt, grab your balls, and get on with yourself, you are better than this."
Amen sista. And you knew exactly what I needed to hear to have the validation. What a blessing you are in my life!
My brother is my cheerleader too. We are 500 miles apart and we have had our moments. But he never misses an opportunity to tell me that he is proud of me or that he loves me. It's just the two of us, no other siblings. We could be that brother-sister gig that hates each other. But he's always there to let me know I'm pretty OK in his world. And it does mean the world to me.
I look to those messages from my former students and hear them say "Oh Sally, I love you!" and it comes from a spot in their hearts that makes ME feel like I'm on top of the world. My sorority girls (with the exception of the couple of psychos) are the same. My BFFs from home too. They lift me up. And at the precise times when it seems it is the prescription that is the best medicine.
A new Facebook girlfriend has bonded with my cause to help homeless pets. She said to me recently that I have helped her find ways grow to better herself. That is pretty humbling and let me tell you girl, YOU have taught me how to be a better person. You came for a graduation party, we met, and you have become a huge part of my heart. You are truly amazing. HUGE soul you have my dear!
I had a recent reach out from high school. A very fun guy I had known because he dated and eventually married my girlfriend's sister. So this group was so fun...my girlfriend was like a sister to me and we knew each other from Sunday School years when we were small and remained close into high school. Her sister was a year younger and boyfriend...well they were laughter and smiles all the time. We all kind of hung together on a regular basis, loved the fun with them! But we all lost touch as will happen at that point in life.
So sister's boyfriend/ex-husband friend requested me on Facebook and we chatted for the longest time and recalled fun times. He is still the kind that when you think of him all you see in your mind is a great smile and lots of laughter. I so loved hearing that he's got two grown kids and a grand baby! The chat was so wonderful and took me back to years of laughter and special times. He's still a really great guy. When we were closing out the chat he said "Sally, you are so, so sweet."
I thought he was high too. He clearly did not know that I had just about come through the phone at the AT&T wireless billing guy an hour before. OOPS did I just admit that one? :)
But it is those things, sincere and loving message from people who somehow see through the bullshit and give you that heartfelt assessment that reminds you that you are pretty OK and really matter to someone. That your soul is one that is loved and treasured. Kindness that comes out of the places you least expect but treasure most.
And even though that is my mission daily--to let people know that they are loved, and amazing, and valued and important--it is nice to get it in return. Fills the heart to overflowing.
Remember Abilene in The Help? "You is kind, you is smart, you is important." We all need to say that to each other to remind each other that despite the shortcomings, we are all worth those words. And don't kid yourself, we all NEED to hear those words!
A Facebook pal posted this today too...good reminder for us all. Because we all slip and get bitchy now and then:
"The ego has taught you that by making others feel insignificant or inferior, it will allow you to feel better about yourself. That is an illusion. By diminishing others, you diminish yourself"
How true...
I work toward the Four Agreements in my life and sometimes it is harder than others but I find that they are good guideposts for us to be good to one another.
Try them...and be good to one another. Lift each other up, it makes a huge difference in someone's day. And you don't have to know them at all, lift them up anyway. You will be making life better for someone, the world better for many, and I guarantee it will fill your own heart.
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