For a friend lost...Fair winds and following seas my friend...

I ponder often the synchronicity of people that come into and float out of my life.  Some from as far back as pre-school that I am still in touch with and feel a love for that is like having a sister.  Some from grade school, some from middle and high school.  Friends from college and my sorority sisters and daughters...  There are some that are rooted deep in my heart for so many reasons.  Some that are lovely and treasured acquaintances.  Some family I am still in touch with...you know where I am with this.

Twenty years ago about this time of year, I was working on a project with another consultant in an area south of me about an hour and a half.  We shared similar business focus and goals and as we continued to stay connected after the project.  He assisted me in my push to get my coaching certification and grow my new business a bit.  David was a licensed US Coast Guard captain and an accomplished sailor with a beautiful sailboat named The Messenger.  The hubs and I sailed with him a few times and I collaborated on work with David occasionally as I forged ahead in career paths.  He was a valued friend and colleague.

A pivotal moment in my relationship with David was our discussion of alternative mental health therapies.  He mentioned his dear friend Brenda used hypnosis to assist her patients in her therapy practice.  We shared our fascination with the methods that Brenda employed and David suggested that I meet her and get to know how she practiced.  He described her as "She is Santa's wife.  The most stunning blue eyes and beautiful white hair.  And a softness of heart that you will instantly feel like you have known her forever."  He was right.

And the synchronicity continued...Brenda entered my life to be a foundation in my next twenty years...

As most of us find, David and I did not stay in touch as either of us would have liked.  An email now and then, trading voicemails.  A Christmas card on occasion.  David was no less valued but life got so busy.

An then out of the blue I sat with my brother in a small Kosher deli that is a FAVORITE spot for eats and the person diagonal from me at the next table (small tables, tight quarters) reached across and grabbed my hand..."Sally?"

I knew that voice, that smile, that Jimmy Buffet-of-the-70s looking hair.  David!

He introduced me to his girlfriend Karen and we chatted a bit then went back to our lunches.  And for a time we did better at that keeping in touch thing.

And life got busy again.  And last winter we exchanged a few quick messages discussing that the hubs and I really needed to come sailing with him because it had been too long.

He posted on his sailing page on Facebook a contest for everyone to weigh in on when the icebreaker would come through on the river and break up the ice signaling the start of spring.  We had a 2 foot snowstorm on April 14-15 so I chose the 22nd, our wedding anniversary.  I cannot remember what date it came through but when we made it past the mid-April storm it was clear spring was on its way.

And then on April 28, David chose that spring Saturday to spend the night on the boat in Lake Pepin. Nothing unusual and since he was an experienced sailor, nothing anyone would question.  A friend of his snapped a picture from shore of David on deck at sunset (hope it is OK that I use it.)

And then...

The hubs and I were making dinner with the local news on in the background and the reporter was telling of an accomplished sailor lost in Lake Pepin.... "Isn't David's spot in Lake Pepin?" the hubs asked.  "... the search continues for David Sheridan..." the reporter stated.  My heart dropped into my stomach.  How is this possible?  He was the safest person on a vessel I have ever known.  I had no words, this simply has to be a mistake...

But it was not.

Through the summer I watched his Facebook page for news.  Friends in Pepin and neighbors continued to offer prayers and wait.

Then it was on the news recently that remains had been found and identified as David.  That news no one wants to hear.  But at least there is closure and he would be home.  My heart hurt for his family, for Karen.  My own heart was heavy.

We lost touch but you were always on the fringes of my mind.  You helped me start my business and introduced me to the woman who would pull me through some terrible times and that I am now standing with in her twilight years as "appointed family."

And on this coming Saturday, 5 months to the day that your boat was found empty and it was determined that you were missing, people will gather to honor you and share stories and remember your spirit and love.  I can't be there but this is my love to you David and I honor your part in my life and bless all you brought into it.  My path would have been significantly different had you not been my dear friend.

So as you are honored and loved by all, I say...

Fair seas and following winds my friend.  Rest easy, we have the watch.


Love,
Sally

For a New Decade! Here we go...

I'm about to turn 60.  It has kind of freaked me out.

Three of my four grandparents did not live past 57.

And then there is the fact that I look in the mirror and that girl looking back is really only 27.  WTF happened?  This cannot be real...

My former officemate told me that it would be a time of reflection, he was right.  And I am also committed to refocus with this reflection into the past and illumination toward the future.

I am blessed with work I love...a little retail gig that is my source of great joy with gal pals who have held me up in some of the toughest times lately.  And clients in my consulting business that are great people I am proud to be working for.

Gal pals...I have needed them all my life but more as I have moved away from my home and as I have gotten older and dealt with things life hands you as you travel the path of moving decade to decade.  I am blessed with my BFFs from home, my small but intimate tribe that is the core of my soul.  And as lonely as I have been living here, the last few years have blessed me with gal pals in this place that have also been my heart light.  They have been there when I felt like my heart would shatter into a million pieces.  They are some of the kindest souls I know and they are my special blessing in the space I live in.  They are my soft place to fall when I need one, here in this place...

My rowing partner is also my ski partner and has been my rock in some tough times...I continue to feel blessed to have her as a resource to lean on.

I have fur kids, four in spirt and two sleeping next to me, that give me the greatest joy and are pure, unconditional love.  Each one has chosen us and we are so blessed to be able to take care of them.  My heart would have a huge hole in it if they were not here.

I have family that I love.  I miss the ones gone, but talk to them all the time and I know they are watching over me.

I have a home.  Structurally it is a house but it truly is a home.  Most times dog hair is a condiment, it is not going to be featured in Town and Country magazine.  But there is a LOT of laughter and a HUGE supply of love for those who enter and stay for any amount of time.  I never have a day when I don't love living in this home or don't look around and feel love.

I have meandered my way through some things in the last few years that have caught me off guard and felt like a rip tide pulling me down into places that dredged up pain in dealing with family shit from a long time ago.  Sad, confused, angry days that seemed to come from nowhere and feel like a punch to the gut.  And though it took hard work and insight, reflection, I'm in the passing lane now and seeing it all move to the side as I drive by.

I have been blessed that I have finally been strong enough that I have made changes in things that were not good for me and strategically moved those things to the curb.  A few years back I would have continued to let them bleed me and say nothing.  They are now a hitchhiker I glance at and let them find a ride elsewhere.  No room for the negative  moving forward...

I have friends that I look at and know the gift each brings and I hope that I give them the love they give me.  Each has their special role and I am blessed to have them all in my life.  I think of my friend, he's retired and living in western Florida...he has such incredible insight and wisdom and his words have had such impact at times recently that I felt that riptide.  Those words help me in my refocus moving into 60 and beyond...

And I am beyond blessed with a husband that is the spouse every woman wishes they had.  He is kind beyond words, he is funny, he is generous, he is my everything. He is my rock and my soft place to fall.  He is my conscience when I need it, he is my foundation and my reality when I need a dose of that too.  I thank God every moment it comes to mind that I have this man in my life.  I simply do not know how I got this lucky that I have this incredibly amazing and wonderful guy as my other half.  There are not enough, would never be enough words to say how wonderful he is.

So here we go 60...I will start days thinking of my Reiki tenants...meant to be a daily observance so we stay present...
*Just for today, I will not worry...
*Just for today, I will not anger...
*Just for today, I will be grateful...
*Just for today, I will do honest work...
*Just for today, I will be kind to every living being...

Refocus and head into this new decade with difference and purpose.  Renewal.

I am blessed...And I am beyond grateful.

Grateful for an amazing lady...happy 99th birthday Aunt Dot

Today would have been my Aunt Dot's (Dorothy) 99th birthday on earth.  Since I think in Heaven you get to choose any age you want to be, I'll toast her here with 99.  She was an amazing lady and a rock in my life.

She was, if I remember right, 15 years older than my mom, number 3 in the line of 4 kids.  I remember...

...she crocheted afghans for people in nursing homes and I have about half a dozen she did for me and my parents.

...she lived all of her life in the same house she was born in.

...she never married, grandma told suitors not to bother with her because her girls/daughters would never leave her alone (my mother obviously left and married...)
BUT I found out years into adulthood that she had a boyfriend she'd had for decades...a married man who lived about an hour away.  No one but her closest friend knew all of the details of that relationship.

...she loved to garden and kept the most beautiful garden that my grandmother had started.  Springtime we'd share information on what we were planting and where.  We loved the same plants and flowers and she kept my grandmother's iris garden going until she died and my mother sold her house.

...we made homemade caramels together in the fall and she made applesauce from scratch along with jellies, jams, pickled all-sorts-of-things, best custard pie in the world and many other things to numerous to list here but...
She was a GREAT cook and made Christmas cookies to DIE for!

...she was "old school" and got her hair done every Saturday morning, standing appointment.  She did her nails every Sunday night.

...she traveled the world, so many places.  Some with my family, some with other female gal pals.

...she worked for the same state agency for over 55 years...I have the clock from her 55th anniversary award ceremony on my desk.  I know she worked beyond that, I can't remember how long.

...she loved Christmas and when I lived near home we'd help her decorate.  She delighted in hosting Christmas Eve dinner and opening gifts at her house and then going to church and spending the night with us to have Christmas morning breakfast.

...at Thanksgiving we'd give her the turkey carcass to clean off for leftover turkey to be eaten.  You have never seen bones picked so clean as when Aunt Dot got hold of that bird!  To this day, the hubs will tell me to "do an Aunt Dot on that piece of meat" when he wants it stripped.

...she was the woman I told things to, poured my heart to and I knew she would never judge me.  My rock.

...she was the one who bought me the pretty, girly things and painted my nails and braided my hair.  My mother was not a girly girl and didn't care about lace and jewelry and frilly undergarments.  Aunt Dot took care of those things.

...when she grew older and struggled with health issues, she never let anything weigh her down.  Her arthritis was crippling at times but she still made the afghans and still rode her exercise bike every single day.

...sitting in her kitchen with the smells of baking or on the back porch listening to the birds could send your heart to the moon.

...she was one classy dresser...always dressed up and didn't own jeans until she was in her 70s.

...in her 70s she went to the car dealership and bought herself a snazzy new Monte Carlo to drive.  I teased her about being a racy old broad...she loved it.

...she was so proud of me <3  And she let me know it.

...a few months before she died, we took our 2 pups to see her and spend some time one afternoon.  I asked her how she felt.  She said that if God took her tomorrow she'd be just fine because she had had such a great life.  NOT...gee I wish I had married or had kids or had more money or...  She knew she was blessed and said so.

...she had an easy laugh and it was a heartfelt one...when she laughed you knew her soul was happy.

...she cried easily...her heart would feel deeply and she would cry at movies, books she was reading, something she saw that pulled her heart.  She had the biggest and kindest heart.

...there were times I think she quite simply saved me from myself <3

Happy Heavenly (and earthly) 99th birthday Aunt Dot.  I know you're here, I know you still watch over me with love.  I miss you so much, you were an amazing blessing in my life and so many others.  Next year is the big one--100--we'll really celebrate then.  Until then,

I love you!

this place...

I sit at 36.000 feet post lunch and two bloodies :)  On our way to paradise.  Where we rest, where we laugh, where we reconnect, refresh and rehabilitate...

We have been going to Cozumel at least twice a year for 23 years.  Mostly in January and March because as a professor of sorts at two universities I could really only vacation at J-term and spring break.  Well, I could go in summer but summers are so lovely where we live that escape to an island was better set in bitter winters.

We started in a small, one-room cabin on the beach in 1995 for our honeymoon.  Small fridge, no TV or phone, porch with a hammock and friends nearby and a beach immediately off the porch that was the perfect setting for sunset and short steps into the water.  At sunset all of the cabin folks, there were 9 cabins, would gather in a group on the beach and watch as the sun slipped beneath the water and we would all shout in salute "ADIOS MEESTER SUN!"  To this day two of those couples are still dear friends and a big part of our lives though we only see them maybe once a year.

When hurricane Wilma wiped out our little cabana in 2005, we floated to friends' house a couple of trips and then found a place where the cabana pals stayed that was a studio apartment half a block from the water for sunset and 4 blocks from walking to the square for evening meals and bebidas.  It was once again a little piece of heaven and we were soon to discover and fall in love with new family members who owned establishments nearby...Patti, Angie and husband Matt, Willy, Monse and Rasta Mama Patricia and Papi William.  Soon we would adopt Gisela and partner Melita as our familia as well.  And the list goes well beyond this... too many loves to name on one page.

This place...  This place of our loves and rest and peace.  This place of laughter and our familia letting us ride on their float for Carnaval.  This beautiful place of our pal who owns a beach club where we sit and snooze and snorkel and read our books and drink beer and catch up.  This place where the last 3 of our beloved puppies have come from.  This place of our friend Martin's "Mexican limonade" and Rasta Mama's chicken nachos.  This place of quiet in the heart.  Of our time where we feel sun on our faces to warm our souls, Sunday family nights in the square dancing to our friend  Eva who sings in the salsa band and where the beloved local people ask you to dance with them in celebration of another beautiful day...

This place of boat trips with Jenny and Greg and pals to a place named Cielo...Heaven in Spanish...where as we ride the waves in the boat out to float in the turquoise waters, a ray flies out of the water next to the boat beside us.  Dolphins leap in the waters off shore late afternoon, sometimes telling of weather changes to come.

This place of fish on our plate, simmered in garlic...he was swimming this morning.  And he is delicious for dinner.  Of our friend Miguel who we met 23 years ago and has graciously invited us to his home to celebrate his son's birthday.  Of breakfast at Addy's and buying talavera to take home that her husband sits there and paints by hand.

This paradise where we fed the birds at Cabana Ocho so many, many trips before Wilma took it away from us.  Where we drive to the wild side of the island...no one lives there, no electricity, just beach bars and surf.  We stay for a bit until the wind is enough and we want the calmer waters and a cold cerveza.  Where our amiga Margarita always has our little VW convertible waiting for us to take for the trip...

Where the hubs walks to the little bodega, turned grocery, now turned full-blown convenience store to buy my "Mexican eggs" that the hen laid this morning and he walks home with in a little plastic bag to fix my breakfast each morning.

Where in our new digs at the Hacienda San Miguel, we sit on our patio and join other residents to walk to the sea wall with our cocktails or beer and watch Meester Sun fall to sleep for another day.  Where the music drifts onto the patio at night from the restaurant in the next block with our beloved salsa music and the hubs will announce "this is my favorite song..." indicating how happy he is to hear it again and for us to be back.

We have traveled a good many places in the world in our 25 years together, we are blessed indeed.  But coming to this place is our heart, where we have familia, where our fur familia has come from, where we rest when we seem to need it the most.  Where we float in the water, feed the fish as we snorkel and read several books as we find peace.

Here's to this adventure to this place where we find love and our hearts...we are so blessed to have these people, this place, these experiences...heaven...Cielo...

We'll be welcomed home again soon...where we will hear and know...bienvenido a casa mis amigos...Welcome home my friends...

Traditions...first night dinner Casa Denis with Martin, Juan Carlos, Leonardo and Balthazar. Nightcaps at Ohana with Matt and Angie where I'm told I happily can be guest bartender (girl, you know your way around, you can get your own beer!) Where we dance in the square on Sunday once again...There are so many traditions...it's part of the homecoming. Part of the joy, part of the peace, part of the rehabilitation of the heart and soul of hard work and crazy lives.

We are 54 minutes from landing...Jenny is picking us up and though she lives near in the states, we have not seen her since last March, I am excited to see her and have a beer after we dump bags in the apartment. Excited for puesta del sol (sunset) and dinner at Denis. I love our lives at home, but this place...I miss it and yearn for it at this time of year especially. Not much longer...

Here we come MEESTER SUN, to read books in your warmth, to salute you at night, to spend time with friends on the playa...

Coming home of sorts...We are so grateful and so love THIS PLACE...

And as I sit on our patio with coffee and the birds singing this first morning I am grateful for Jenny AND Greg meeting us at the airport to take us to the hacienda complete with cold welcoming cervezas...joining us for first margaritas next to the water watching sunset at our amiga Patita's place, a spectacular sunset with friends and a sigh ... taking in the warmth, the love, the laughter, the arms around us to come back to.  For our friends at Casa Denis at dinner last night...we find out Martin is an abuelo now (grandpa...) and coming into the apartment to find a beautiful floral arrangement, wine, and snacks welcoming us back home.

I am so grateful for this place...and all of the people here and connected to here...too many come to mind, I hope they know they are loved when they read this because I will not remember all of the ones to mention.

Thank you God for our blessings that include this place and its people <3