At this age, I've had a lot of people come in and out of my life. Few can stand next to Jillayne, my former student from St. Kate's that passed away a few days ago. To say that her earthly being was remarkable is a significant understatement.
I have struggled with how to put into words who she was, the depth of her soul and being...so I suppose that describing her as a student would be a start...
One spring semester I prepared my syllabus for Principles of Management class. One of the assignments/projects was to be a group presentation where the student groups did an audit of a management practice in a company they knew and revised or recommended changes to improve the practice. Each of the four team members were to verbally present their portion of the project in front of the class at the end of the semester.
The first day of class was always going through the syllabus in detail and answering questions and getting to know one another. The VERY first student through the door that day was Jillayne. Jillayne was in a wheelchair and on a ventilator and had her nurse with her. She said hello, introduced me to her nurse, and explained that her nurse would be in class with her each session. She promptly parked herself in the front row and waited for class to start.
After we went through everything and class came to a close, I asked Jillayne to hang back a moment. I told her that I planned class without realizing I needed to offer accommodation to a student and that for her group project, she'd be allowed to do a bulk of research instead of the oral presentation section. I barely finished my sentence and she said to me "NO!, I am no different than any other student, I've got this!" Her nurse looked at me and nodded in affirmation. OK, how is this going to play out...
When the day came, the four young women took their place in front of the room and the first 3 gave their assessment of their project sections. They asked for a momentary pause and Jillayne and her nurse went out into the hallway. I held my breath not knowing what was going on and then the door opened and Jillayne appeared in front of the room, off her ventilator. She delivered an amazing presentation and when she was done, thanked everyone and returned to the hallway where her nurse hooked her back up to her ventilator.
I was in awe of this amazing young woman. And to think I bitch about my shoulders hurting...
THAT was Jillayne..."I'VE GOT THIS!"
We stayed in close touch on social media after I left St. Kate's and not too long ago she asked me to write a recommendation letter for her. When I asked who I was to send it to and what she was up to, she told me she was going to study at the Berkeley School of Music. I was in awe of her desire to do in life whatever excited her and proudly wrote that letter. And so she was set...she messaged me that she was in and on her way to study music! Once again in awe of her, I just knew that there were few things she could not tackle.
And about a month ago I got a phone call from her mother Debi. Jillayne had been in the hospital almost the entire summer with breathing/lung issues. The doctors had sent her home on hospice, there was nothing more they could do to help her. Debi told me that on the list of people she wanted contacted, I was on that list.
This I did not expect.
I went back and forth between feeling like I'd been dealt a gut punch and being humbled and honored that I was on her "list." I suppose I expected that she would be one of those students that would always be there to touch base with and connect on her new adventures and what she was conquering at any point in her life. And she did CONQUER life! How at this point, could life be kicking her and taking her light?
Jillayne commented to her mother that she felt like she had not accomplished much in her 30 years. As I sat and visited with the two of them about two weeks ago, I learned exactly what she had "not" accomplished. Allow me to brag about this amazing, giving, kind, brave and generous young woman...
She got me started donating to Guide Dogs for the Blind because she had a friend who was involved and told me how important this was. She collected over 500 stuffed animals for a project named "Critters for Kids in Crisis", she served as a youth commissioner on the Human Rights Commission in her hometown in MN, she created K-9 first-aid kits so that each K-9 Officer in her hometown would be able to treat their K-9 partner in an emergency, she helped with National Night out and Holiday Helpers in Blue and a litany of other selfless contributions. As I sat with the two of them, Debi told me in detail how Jillayne had gotten a change in the curbing structure started in her hometown that would eventually aid those who needed better access. Recently, the police department made her an honorary reserve officer in a beautiful tribute recently recognizing her selfless dedication to helping others.
And did I mention that she was a 4.0 student and was still taking her classes online from her hospital bed just a few weeks ago?
I would be remiss on an enormous level if I did not mention Jillayne's mom, Debi. Debi dedicated her entire life to caring for her amazing daughter and standing by her side in every single adventure and every single challenge. Debi's selfless and complete love and devotion was a beautiful partnership between mother and daughter. Everyone should have a mom like Debi and I am so in awe of their loving relationship. I cannot say enough about this amazing, loving and dedicated mom.
I had a work project that was taking a good deal of time and could not get out to make a second visit so I was texting the both of them to check in and tell them that I was still thinking of them and praying hard for them both and sending a lot of love. The other day when I texted, Debi wrote back that Jillayne would leave us sometime that day. And though we all know what "hospice" means, I did not expect that. I expected to make another visit next week and bring her favorite candy from The Drooling Moose candy shop. I felt like that gut punch had come full force. She was made of iron, how could this happen to someone who did SO much for others?
Jillayne was so easy to love, so easy to smile with and soul of such great depth and kindness. The enormous void she leaves will be impossible to fill on so many levels. However, she leaves us with inspiration to be a better version of ourselves, to give to others in so many ways, to overcome the things that life throws down in front of us and to live our lives in love, as she has always done with the partnership of her mom alongside her.
Jillayne, I honor you here and though it is from my heart, it pales in comparison to who you were here on earth. I know that you'll be watching over mom and those of us who loved you so and are grateful for your role in our lives. Thank you for honoring me by remaining in my life, you will always remain close to my heart. The world needs more people like you, without a doubt.
Fly high amazing friend, make sure you visit mom often to comfort her broken heart and stop by here if you get a moment. Love you...
