grateful for the quiet that has us notice the small things...

I woke in the night last night, just like about every night, and journeyed downstairs to lay on the couch and watch Chicago PD reruns.  As I walked down the stairs, my right hand found the railing to hold on to in the dark.  And as I found my way down, my hand ran across a spot I had never felt or noticed before...a "worn" spot in the wood.  A spot that tells of time, experience, familiarity of sorts.

I usually don't reach for the rail or have my hands free because coming downstairs I typically have Marty in my arms.  He's our elder pup, 14 years old at least that we know of (he's a rescue from Cozumel,) with a fused shoulder that allows him to go up stairs but not come down.  I lovingly bundle him in my arms and carry him downstairs nearly every trip.  Not a big deal, like carrying a 25 pound medicine ball in my arms with an abundance of love.

But last night I had already brought him down to go outside and then laid him on one of the soft round clouds that are the puppy beds in front of the fireplace and he gently drifted back to sleep.  I went up to get my phone that had been on my night table to lurk social media while I laid on the couch.  As I came down I felt the worn spot...

I started thinking about the "worn spots" in my life.  The familiar, the comfort, the peace that are my "worn spots" that I know are there from me reaching to, the same spots, over the years in my life.

My gal pals...I've known Kathy since pre-school and we text occasionally but we connect on social media all the time.  I adore her and watching her girls marry and have their own babies on social media has been a joy.  I've known BJ since 5th grade and it is much the same with her.  I went to Hebrew school with her in grade school, drank beer and had crazy times in high school with her.  She is my "do it badass" gal pal.  And Jude, who is always there, always has had my back, shared the great and the horrible, knows ALL the good and bad of me and loves me no matter what.  And the one thing I just realized that I do not share with all of these loves is that they are all breast cancer survivors.  Courageous and amazing women.

My bridesmaids from 25 years ago who I am still close to.  My family members and some of my hubs family that are so good to me.  Many of my students from over the last 20 years and many of my sorority girls that are still so very loved and present and are "worn spots" with the love and comfort they provide.

My hubs, who is my rock and source of joy.  In about 2 weeks we will celebrate our 25th anniversary.   I simply would not be whole without him.  My pups, who never have enough time with us in their lives but every single moment provide love and joy for hubs and I.  As I type Miss Party Pants is snoring under my left arm and Marty is sleeping on his cloud.  The 4 in spirit watch over them with love.

My slippers, my robe, my Sarah Flaherty sweater from Inis Mor (Sarah is the delightful tiny Irish woman who hand-knitted it,) my favorite wool hat I bought in Reykjavik, or my favorite glasses.  My fave yoga tights and top (WONDER WOMAN!) or my fave sweatshirt (ROWING.)  My garden, my patio and deck oasis.  My favorite movies...you know those that you watch and the memories flood back and fill your heart to overflowing and remind you of loves and times that are so beautiful.  The ones that remind you of who you watched them with.

My music...that recording of the Springsteen concert we went to in Dublin, Ireland in May of 2016.  Both the official audio and the Youtube videos of it that I can't watch enough because it was SO FREAKING FUN!  Same with all of the Jimmy Buffett concerts over the years that saw us dressed in tropical attire with parrots on our heads...  any of the music that is that "worn spot" that brings joy at the first note.

The hubs' dinners...I can always count on his food to be amazing (he's had chef training!) and it's a source of comfort always.  We always make time for dinner together.  The smells from our kitchen are rich with love and as I sit and talk to him over a glass of our favorite.  I am grateful that we are able to share these times together to talk and laugh.

The fire in the fireplace on cold nights that brings such peace.  And living here, we've had them in July!  The warmth and visual of flames dancing ...

Sunday mornings...a "worn spot" that I treasure.  We get up and watch CBS Sunday morning and then have a leisurely breakfast.

Cozumel, our island oasis for 25 years at least twice a year.  It holds our love and our friends and people we look to as family.  It doesn't matter what month we choose to go or how long we are there, it is a huge part of our heart as soon as we walk onto the tarmac we smell the sea air and sink into peace and comfort.

I recall a blanket from childhood that I think my brother took when I cleaned out Mom and Dad's house.  A red and black wool thing I wrapped myself in and felt a sense of quiet and comfort when it was needed most.


My parents' house...the one I grew up in.  To this day my heart aches that I agreed so quickly to sell it.  But I didn't know what else to do and they had both just died...6 months apart.  I was overwhelmed.


What are your "worn spots" that you are grateful for...the ones always there to comfort you, love you, bring you peace?  The ones that have created those soft spots in your life, the grooves that are smooth and easy places to find, especially in trying times like these.  The ones you don't even realize are your "worn spots" until you find them with a surprise or unknowingly run your hand across them in your walk down the stairs.   Maybe the ones we take for granted and don't notice.

This time in our lives is forcing us to slow down, hopefully to notice.  To ground ourselves more.  To enrich our lives with more love, kindness, patience and peace.  To reach out and truly appreciate those "worn spots" that remind us of the beautiful things in our lives that our hands touch so often...and maybe need to love and appreciate more.

There are so many more...but in the night as I found that spot at my right hand, I began to think of all of the puzzle pieces that are so much love in my life for so long.  It is easy to forget in our constant rush of life.  The "worn spots" that are always there for us in comfort and joy, peace and laughter.  And many times at our worst moment to hold us close before we fall.

Find your "worn spots" during this time and in the peace of your heart embrace them with your love.  They may not always be there.  Love them all for the beauty, joy and laughter they bring to your life.

As I close my yoga classes with, and as my yoga mentor taught me,
May your thoughts be loving,
May your words be kind,
May you have peace in your heart and actions always.

The light in me honors the light in you ... with love.