Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Grateful for connectivity...random thoughts

People don't know how to love. They bite rather than kiss. They slap rather than stroke. Maybe it's because they recognize how easy it is for love to go bad, to become suddenly impossible... unworkable, an exercise of futility. So they avoid it and seek solace in angst, and fear, and aggression, which are always there and readily available. Or maybe sometimes... they just don't have all the facts.
Anger and resentment can stop you in your tracks…  It needs nothing to burn but the air and the life that it swallows and smothers. It's real, though - the fury, even when it isn't. It can change you... turn you... mold you and shape you into something you're not. The only upside to anger, then... is the person you become. Hopefully someone that wakes up one day and realizes they're not afraid to take the journey…


That anger, like growth, comes in spurts and fits, and in its wake, leaves a new chance at acceptance, and the promise of calm.

Lines from a movie that I happened upon years ago and the title put me off...The Upside of Anger.  It frankly is kind of a sad and dark movie in places but has so many stories within the title and lines that gave a sense of connectivity.  Not in any particular situation or story relative to me or anyone I knew.  But just words that resonate.

That speak to you and quietly touch a place that ... somehow says something important if you are willing to pay attention.

Funny lines that you know you've wanted to say at times...

I am so sick of being your bitch.  I put up with your shit because I know how much pain you're in!  But it's enough!  It's a tall order for a patient M*****F*****, and I am the furthest thing from that you're ever going to lay eyes on.

Yep.  We've all felt like saying it.  But we've all been in that pain too.  The question is, do we get that the other person is in pain and it's maybe not intentional.  That they have their own anger and they have to find their own upside to it?  They have to hear the words speak to them and find their own pathway?

Most times not. Sadly.

What do we choose?

Sometimes I am grateful that I choose laughter, it makes the anger so much less important.

Sometimes I choose empathy and/or sympathy.  It helps understand what is going on and if there truly is intention behind the anger and ugliness.

Sometimes, I choose to have the connectivity of the words, the meaning, the timing, the serendipity of the situation and people involved.  

Sometimes I choose the solace of amazing people I have in my circle and spend time with them.

More connectivity...

My writers' group at the Women's Club. SUCH AMAZING WOMEN!  As the hubs would say about all of the women there, a high caliber of ladies.  I am in awe of so many of them.  I adore them.  I learn constantly from them.  And I bathe in their company because it is the most positive energy I have found in years.

They are just so freakin' cool.

The connectivity of people who exude class.  Emanate beauty that is soul-deep.  And can teach you the things that you least expect.

Yesterday's take away from writers' group?  From one of the women that is so much fun and so cool and if I asked her/their meaning of the Upside of Anger, they would have sonnets to recite on the subject.  The woman/women who are published and intellectual and insightful and my colleagues and compatriots.  Many soul sisters.

BITCH really stands for Babe In Total Control of Herself.

Yep, got it :)  

Here endeth the lesson.

Connectivity can be wonky but it's there.  Just like an Upside to Anger, you decide your own interpretation and ownership.

I think I'll read this blog at the next Writers' Group meeting!  They will giggle.  Over a mimosa maybe.

Happy New Year 2015, I am giddy with expectations because it is going to be A-MAZING!


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