I have wanted to fucking kill a number of people. I had a list when the morning started--my husband's employer, their new payroll provider (who neglected to put the money in the right account so I could pay bills and then said WHO CARES) and my computer who has been eating CDs and losing my new client's information since early morning. And I have not felt inspired to write about being grateful lately.
I went to the gym and blew the doors off my 5K time and rowed a bit. This feeling was a great motivator at the gym. By the time noon was here and new issues (like the healthcare provider not paying claims and the dental one denying the ones that are covered) I was off-the-chart pissed again.
Mercury is in retrograde, what can I say...
And the hubs has always said I have a VERY long fuse, VERY loud explosion. Run for cover...
But as I logged back on to the computer after a shut down to try and eject the CD, my email opened to a lovely note from a former boss. I don't think he ever realized at the time I worked for him what a great mentor he was though I did have occasion to tell him recently. And now, nearly 30 years later, he's a very cool friend I treasure and know will be lifelong. His notes make my week when they arrive.
I worked for a law firm in my 20's and early 30's. Fresh out of an engagement to a "frog" (the ex-fiance kind) and trying to find a career path. I didn't know what I wanted to do but knew I needed to have a challenge and something that would stimulate my intellect. And who knew until I was in grad school and took an IQ test that there was any intellect there :) -- high enough to qualify for Mensa (NO thanks) but know I was bored with what I was doing. It was a tough time as it can be for many at that age. Not a time I would want to relive, it was transition and thankfully is behind me. Character builder my Daddy used to call it.
I worked for the first name on the door and one other partner who was a little older than myself. First name was internationally known, and a rockstar-extraordinaire in the legal world (he would probably gag hearing me use terms like that given his education) and my other partner was of equal stature though quite a lot younger. Erudite men, amazing and educated. I learned more from them than I can speak of in a simple blog. I owe them the creation of who I am to many former students--The Grammar Nazi. A moniker I treasure. (But don't adhere to myself here on the blog...)
While Older was amazing in his own right, Younger was who I watched and listened to and looked for examples of leadership. He was a great mix of way cool, funny, brilliant, and incredibly composed in dealing with clients and other attorneys that were, at times, mercurial at best. He was/is a great husband, father, friend.
We worked late, late nights in trial prep. We worked weekends. We worked on incredible cases I still think of and worked with some great people across the country. He never was too busy to explain to me the workings of a case or the law behind it. He was patient with my questions and my mistakes. He understood my desire to grow and do more than I was doing. He also made sure that when we worked late and I was on a late train home, I had a "roadie" for the train ride (usually a can of Old Style in each coat pocket.) Working for Older was a challenge at times, for many reasons, but working for Younger was a sheer delight.
I stayed at the firm about 5 years if I remember correctly. The administrator was more than I cared to deal with and she was prone to ugly comments when no one could hear or note them and I was tired of being her "bitch" so I left and went looking for the next leg in the path. I did miss Older and Younger a lot the first year away, but was also at a point in grad school where the path was changing and law was not in the future.
We really didn't stay in touch over a period of years. I think that life got busy, I moved and got married and days turned into years. I remember thinking of him every year on his birthday and one year not too long ago I sent him an email and then we met for a long breakfast about a year and a half ago when I was home, and a few more emails since. I so enjoy our notes!
So today, when I was feeling like it would be either a homicide or a suicide by the end of the day (relax, I don't look good in blaze orange or stripes...) I opened email to a note from my dear friend. There were updates that were fun and I love hearing of recent family updates, and some that were sad...they lost a fur baby recently and know how it breaks our hearts. He mentioned that Older who is 95 now lost a son earlier this month and it broke my heart to think of his sadness. No one should have to go through that.
But he wrote me this amazing note in closing, words that coming from someone I respect to the highest degree, made me feel like I had just walked on the moon:
And Sally, I can’t tell you how much it pleases me to see how happily and successfully the years have passed for you. I know the time you spent at the firm was, shall we say, “transitional,” and it’s never easy to figure out where you’re meant to go and what you’re meant to do. I’m so glad you figured it out and that it has turned out so very, very well for you. I think it’s great that your career is about inspiring and motivating people, because your own story is so inspiring and motivating.
How can you NOT feel like you are on top of the world with those words? Feel accomplished, feel a bit of pride? Coming from someone SO amazing? He is still the same mentor and friend and now I believe life has drawn us a bit closer with just where we are.
Though he would have handled today much more diplomatically, I assure you. I don't think that the people on the other end of the phone felt I was exactly "inspiring."
But he'd laugh at me I think...and probably roll his eyes a bit. But he'd still think I was pretty OK all in all!
Here's to an amazing man I will always treasure as my friend and mentor. Thank you for all you have done for me along the path and such kind words that filled my heart today, it all means the world to me! You are a special blessing in my life and I am who I am in part thanks to time working for you.
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