Honoring those we love

As those who have read here know, we very recently lost our handsome Husky boy, Chico who was blind and nearly 13 years old.  It has been hard on all of us but as we hold him close in our hearts and grieve the silence left behind without his constant conversation, I have watched Maya and Marty, his pack mates, demonstrate their own way of handling his absence.

Maya will lay in his spot in the living room and never, ever had she laid in that room.  Marty does the same in our bedroom and in the kitchen.  Chico's spots are now occupied by smaller fur kids who talk less.  Maya also lays at Chico's food bowl with her arms wrapped around it instead of sitting on the chair or couch with us.

But one thing that perplexed Tim and I both was that they will not drink out of the water bowls Chico drank from--at all.  In the 5 weeks without him, the two bowls he drained daily have remained full with only evaporation taking them down.  I've washed them and refilled them only to have them remain as I placed them, filled to the top with water.

They both now drink from the third bowl and only that one.

We have a dear friend that was over for dinner recently and she works with animals in behavior and communication and training.  We mentioned this to her and she had one simple word in observation.  HONOR.

I asked her what she meant.  She said that is their way of honoring Chico.  They leave his bowls full to honor him.

It filled and broke my heart all at the same time.  He is so deserving of it...our Big Man.

It also had me recall many other "honorings."

Each year on birthdays and anniversaries of deaths of our parents, Tim and I celebrate them.  We watch The Quiet Man and have a steak for my father.  We have my mother's pot roast for her.  We toast my father-in-law/Dad #2; I with a Black and Tan and Tim with Crown Royal which were Dad's favorite drinks.  It may vary year to year how we celebrate them via food, drink, movies, music...but we make sure we celebrate them.  I plant different plants for them all in my beautiful garden...heliotrope and moss rose for my Mom, Asters for our Springer Spaniel Max (and now Chico) and a Gerbera Daisy for Tessa, our other pup in spirit.

We HONOR them.

One year I shared this on Facebook...this honoring process of celebrating that we do.  I believe it happened to be the Quiet Man and steak night.  And I in turn was "honored" by a guy I knew in high school.

I  knew my pal in high school but we were not "friends" like you are in high school and we didn't hang together or talk or date or any of that other high school shit we all did.  But through Facebook we connected and I'm so proud that we are friends now and I am hoping that some day my journey's take me south to where he his living to have an adult beverage with him...to HONOR this connection.

Because, it is through this celebrating of our loved ones, HONORING them, that he chose to honor me and it remains a huge, full spot in my heart to this day...

One year he sent me a private message on FB and wrote the most wonderful note and told me that my celebrations, my HONORING my loved ones turned his life and perspective around in his own loss.  He found himself no longer mourning his Dad and the void but making his Dad's favorite meal and remembering all of the great times they had together.  And each year as he posts pictures of his cooking his Dad's fave, he takes the time to honor me in setting this tradition in place in his own heart.

Keith, the honor is all MINE, my friend.

And the comments in his thread set others in motion to HONOR those they love in a new tradition.


I will continue to fill Chico's water bowls, celebrate Mom, Dad, and Dad #2 in those special ways and plant flowers for them all.  I will forever HONOR them in the ways that fill my heart.  I will watch Maya and Marty honor their pack mate they love and miss and I know they see in spirit but still feel the void of his move to Heaven.

But it has moved me to ask the question...why do we need to wait until our loved ones are gone to HONOR?  We need to do it now, while they are here, to their face, with love and kindness and laughter.  We need to make those heartfelt payments to everyone NOW.  While they can see how much we love and HONOR them.   Not after they are gone and we do it out of grief and sadness.

My pups teach me a lot--SO much in their simple ways.  About love, play.  Now about HONOR.  About that part of love and devotion to another that holds them high and tight in your heart.  HONOR.

Who will you honor each day?  I challenge everyone to find someone new every day to HONOR.  It does not have to be someone you know either.  Anyone, but even better, someone who needs it.  Think of the impact in choosing to HONOR a person every day and what it would/could do!

HONOR each day and make it count.  <3

And thank you Maya and Marty for teaching me about HONOR and how important it is in LOVE.